Life and life goals, right now.

Things are as bad for me as they were last year. I have more friends, and more people have my back now. I'm still going to fall, but it's much nicer to land on some pillows then the cold concert.

Here are some things coming up, for me. Not in any sort of order.

• My GED test. Hopefully, in Jan.
• Finally getting my broken tooth removed in Jan.
• I'm going to record myself reading the YuGiOh! manga.
• Go back to job hunting, and get a job so I can go into massage therapy.
• I might go back into video blogging.
• 2011 art slide show for video sites.
• Do more yoga.
• Learn how to swim.
• Take some self defense classes, if i can find some for free or really cheap.
• Stop public protests.
• Start LGBTQ meetings.
• Learn to play an instrument (maybe).
• Minor art goals.
• Become a part-time free dj?

That's it, for now.

Hey, self! FUCK YOU!

Inner self,

Where as I do appreciate your concern are my image and dignity, I must say I'm sick of you discouraging me from doing fun things. I would take more heed to your warnings of embarrassment if these things were actions that would be a direct threat to my mortal or immortal well being, but they usually aren't. In fact, when it comes to things that could in same way threaten my soul, you're no where to be found for any discouragement. I'm starting to wonder how much you actually care about me. you keep me from doing fun things like public trolling, singing, and voice overs on the net, but when I look into different types of culture beliefs (religion, etc) you're quite silent. When I do things like taker part in protests, and wear "showy" clothes in the summer you say nothing. Event though those things could suggest me to some sort of harm, or make me regret my actions in some other way - more reasonable for protest, you are silent.

In short, I'm asking you to stay silent! I'll admit there are some things better done in a group, or someone watching to make sure I don't get hurt (or at least a good witness), but when it comes to fun, non-serious things I want to post "publicly" on the net you need to shut the fuck up.

Seriously,
Me

I don't believe in the christian bible, because it sucks!

There are alot of reasons why I stopped believing in Christianity, that long out-date the biblical based homophobia I was bum bared with after coming out as bi. Here are all my reasons, all together.

• When I was a child, in Sunday school, I asked the teacher “If this took place in Africa why are the people white?”

She answered “We don’t know what people looked like back then.” I asked “Well, why don’t get a painting of some black people, then?” She didn’t answer, and the conversation ended there.
That was the point in which I started talking to myself. As long as I was going to my godmother’s house on the weekend, I would have to go to church. Talking to myself tuned them out until it was over.
Today, it’s to my understanding that the story takes place in there because it’s about Mary and Joey ESCAPING from their original land to Africa. But, the depictions continue to be white people, as the story continues to take place in Africa. I know at some point Jesus goes back to his parents’ homeland or something.

• Too many plot holes, and people don’t know what they’re talking about!

Good example, what I just said above, and much more. Either it’s books and chapters that have been taken out, or changed, or it’s just the fact that people don’t tell you certain things. I just found out that these people escaped to Africa, and I was raised by Baptist from childhood. The teacher could’ve said that! Based on what I’ve accumulated on how the general southern baptist perceives things she probably didn’t know, herself.
From what I read of the bible, it’s just a bunch random stories, that only come together in connection when Jesus appears. That means the Old Test is better titled “The random misadventures of God’s creations!” That means it either all happened or none of it happened! This the mean reason people are so “pick and chose” about how they follow.

• The bad side of “pick and chose”.

Even tho bible says to love each other people will ignore that, and go on the parts of “We’ll hate who God hated, and those that hated and abandoned Jesus.”
Even tho black people didn’t have much part in Jesus’ story we have those that express bible based racism. I guess they “abandoned” him in a way. The Jews defiantly abandoned Jesus. This is were Jew based bible hate comes from. But, you can’t hate Jews and believe in Jesus, because even tho the other Jews left him alone he was still one.
In modern translation the bible does say, in the Old and New Test, that homosexuality is wrong. People will relate that to bisexuality, too. I don’t know what the bible says about transexuality, however. The a modern christain it’s all the same, so if they pick it to be wrong it’s all wrong.
The are alot of real life examples of men using the bible is bash women, but “put them in their place” using the power of the “holy spirit”. Women really suck in the bible. They mostly look like unreasonable, selfish whores.
In the bible God says he’s jealous and wants people to burn beliefs in other types of religions and Gods. That’s were people that hate all other religions come from.
Despite the fact that the bible says we should all love each other, REPEATEDLY.
The bible is an excuse we use on why and why not to do things. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard “There’s a time and place for all things” as a bible quote I’d be richer than Oprah. I would have so much money everyone else in the entire world would be poor! Add in other popular bible quotes an individual will use as to why/ not do something… I would have so much money I’d HAVE to give it all away so everyone else that functions mostly on a money system would be able to survive. I’ve heard these quotes among people are more used for times to be violent, than times to be peaceful. Also, times to get get what they want, over use of times to be humble and thankful for what they already have.
Just people being people and using what they have and know what get what they want. And alot of them have the nerve to be surprised when others don’t believe or respect them. I know some of how human nature works. I’m just saying “Just be honest. There’s no point in trying to hide your true intentions with this pretentious bullshit.”

• Moses and Sodom and Gomorrah, in logic.

I just don’t believe that. 2 of EVERY ANIMAL IN THE WORLD? That includes animals that don’t live in that region of the world. How could they properly sex all the animals to make sure it was a male and female of it’s species, and what defiant did they have that all the animals would reproduce?
I vaguely remember is about the angels that visited Sodom and Gomorrah. The father offered his daughters to be raped in exchange for the safety of the (male?) angels. According to someone I know, the father was turned down, because the twin towns were (mostly?) men, and they were all gay so they didn’t accept the daughters. I don’t think anyone got raped in this story: The men didn’t want the women, and people can’t touch an angel.
I don’t know or believe that these gay men all wanted to rape the angels. Men are aggressive, but that’s very different from being a rapist. Why would you bother offering your daughters to gay men? I take it the lesbians were else where, because these were male formed angels. Even tho daughters were offered, they were offered to the gay men. People in the bible are also stupid.

• Sexism.

All the women suck. I understand women have been and still are oppressed. All the people that get blessed with power in the bible are men, and the women just fail.

• Story and plot, as a reader.

The bible is just a long boring book of tragic misadventures of random stupid people. You tell me there’s a book with a God, and a demi-god running things, and I’m expecting a decent story. For it to suck so hard, it’s way too long. I understand it’s a collection of stories, but all the stories are bad. A God that kills things, and tests it’s followers by telling them to kill things. A demi-god that leads most to all of his followers to a horrible death. Humans that have no common sense.
Why should I feel for some people being lead by this weak demi-god around the desert on a suicide mission like chickens with their heads cut off? They’re already off to a bad start, as chickens with their heads cut off!

• As a black person…

I was convinced that this story was all about black people, until recently with the “They escaped to Africa (and at some point went back home)”. The Old Test should be black people because of the story of the Pharaoh enslaving Jews, and etc. At first I was under the impression that these were black people, more popularly depicted as white white. That was a moral crime to me, in itself. If they weren’t not black, to start with, I’m cool with it now. However, if they are really black 1. I’ve been robbed as a black person, and 2. Why do black people have to be written into such awful stories that had to become so popular? “This sucks so hard it’s great, so these most be white people, and not have much to be with black people even tho it took place were all the black people are!”

• As an “artist”…

Now days, I understand the paintings and artworks that are popularly reproduced is an artists interpretation of Jesus and the story. What I don’t understand is why that’s the only popular one! Where’s Asian Jesus? What about full white Jesus with blond hair and blue or green eyes? Hispanic Jesus, anyone? I think Jesus would look better with tan skin, long soft wavy hair, and a muscular build at about 5’7 in height.
~
I want to make it clear, and i had all these previous reasons, before I was introduced to the homophobic bible hate. It was a “Your story is already fucked, and you think you have room to condemn me? No, fuck you!” for me. At the time, I was with people that were either stupid religious, or not practicing religion at all. The people in little to no practice treated me better so I marked off christainity as unreasonable, and stopped believing. I don’t have any reason to go back to believing it, either. I’m happy being able to believe what I want, and not dealing with what I don’t want.
There are so many other beliefs to choose from. Not all of hem of absurd random stories. Not all of them hold men to every higher position over women. Not all of them condemn non-hetero people. There’s no reason why I should or would go with something that does. Some religions even have stories and characters that KICK ASS. Why go with the weaklings with bad plots? And, why go with the stupid modern fanclub that is much more interested in using this weak word to get their way, instead of doing what’s right with it?
This all from my pov, and my way of thinking. I know this is all bashing, but on the other hand I have seen christainity make good out of people. I just don’t see enough of it. The people doing good with christainty aren’t usually the ones you see making statements on TV about things. It’s the evil, crazy condemning ones. If all things must come to an end I hope the rule of the “Evil Bible” ends soon.

Staind - Not Again (Official Video)

Secret Shopper Canada Scam

My mother is a recent victim of this check fraud scam. She reserved a letter with a check for almost 2 grand. The letter's contact name was Alex Rupert and the number was from Ontario, Canada. The business said it was from somewhere in the US. The list of places to shop was Walmart, Western Union, and Kmart or JcPenny in that order. $1900 of the almost $2000 was to be sent over Western Union, to someone in London.


My mother has a credit union instead of a bank, but I don't know if that had anything to do with the check not having a hold on it. Due to not having a hold she started withdrawing from it. As to be found out the check was no good a week later and mother over drew her account into the thousands. They took advantage of another person that was in need of the money. There was almost an element of greed in it, not using what she knew about banking to look into the check first. She would have known better if they were asking for personal info, or asking for money first, however. I would have jumped on alert of the check was over 2 grand.



It all seemed fishy, though. The company was in the US, but the number was from Canada. They wanted most of the money to be wired to someone overseas. It came from a company we've never heard of before. If it were my I would have thought to research it first, but mother was too excited to think about looking into the possibility it could be a scam. I've looked it up, after the fact, and I see this is a very popular scam. If it had my name on it I would have taken a smarter route, but mother and I are too different people. I don't know a lot about banking, but I’m considerably paranoid of ID theft so I would have gutted the fish to make sure it was real. But for the record, shit looked legit. It was a real looking check, it had names and numbers, and it had popular businesses. However, the woman that processed the funds at Western Union did warn mother of someone else who was scammed the same way. I doubt she made a point of it, like "Ma'am, you really need to think about this before you do this. It's a very popular check scam." Also, my mother is very stubborn. Despite warning she did it anyway.



I saw a helpful hint on a site, which I will repeat: "When you receive a cashier's check, or any type of sweepstakes check, always call that bank that it was drawn out of..."



We're very fortunate the damage isn't as bad as a lot of comments I've read on sites about this scam. She didn't get to jail, for cashing a fake check, and stealing the money from them. The credit union unlocked her account, and they trust her to pay back the money. Her account is overdrawn about $1300, and that's clearly not the worst that could have happened. She's not sick, has any manager illness, or disabled so she's not in complete turmoil over it. It will take some time to fix, but this is far from the worst that could have happened.



Unfortunately, mother is too ashamed to report it to the police. She won't event give me a copy of the check so I can show an example of what to look out for, out of all the check frauds coming out of Canada. It's kind of funny. If this came from somewhere in Africa we would have assumed it was a scam, but Canada?! No, not Canada. Well played, scammers. Well played.

Comcast just took off Cartoon Network

They've been taking Cartoon Network off basic cable since 08, and it just hit use this week. When I called the line was busy, so I used the online chat.

If they're going to take off chans the bill should rightfully go down, right? Less service, less money.

I don't know if mother is considering getting more boxes. It's really fucked up, but they can do it, because they're no cable company competition. Our apt complex doesn't allow satellites because they say it's "unsightly". For someone looking to move their dish with them, or be about to have the option of not dealing with the area's cable service it's not unsightly at all.

As for those boxes, they're shitty. I don't know what they're made out of, but they can and will break and stop working for no reason!

Now we have 2 reasons to get out of this complex.

1. We live on 3rd floor. Anyone that's here or has been here knows that's good enough reason to move.

2. No cable/ dish options.

When we move state we're going to have to look for a complex that allows dish. More work, but worth it. Fuck Comcast.

If Ash were a girl

People are very easy to jump to “Ashley” of the first or second season, in which Ash cross dressed to be in some sort of contest against Misty. Here’s my take on it:

There are many possibilities to what Ash would be like, but only a few probabilities.

Ash(ton) the tomboy

No major difference in personality. The only considered appearance changes would be longer hair - in the back, and skinny pants. I see some slight differences such as Ash being more excitable. In story arc Ash may have to face gender discrimination (and over come it, because she’s the main char), and somewhere in there be exposed to her friends as a girl (if not from the start). Maybe slightly longer hair to keep it in mind to us or the show Ash is female.

Non - gender complex:

It would help if Ash refereed to herself in gender neutral terms. Others would take it upon themselves to call her male terms, and she wouldn’t correct them. She would put on a shirt and swim trunks instead of a bikini style swimsuit. The gender reveal would most likely be comedic. She would be changing or something and someone would be in and be “OMG! *manic blush* You’re a girl?!” and she would just grin, and like “Yeah. You couldn’t tell?” “Why did you let us think you were a boy?” “It doesn’t matter, to me.” After that things would be awkward for alil bit, but funny awkward to us. I would see Misty’s role changing for whatever she was suppose to be to maybe trying to Ash fem up, and/or open any homosexuality. Brock would keep his role as the mature motivator to Ash, but add trying to get her to be more fem, and/ or open any heterosexuality. There’s also the chance Brock might treat Ash like the boy he’s been leading everyone on the believe, like with playing “bro” games. Ash’s sexuality may be expressed as bi, pan, or ace, in reality.

Gender complex, in reference to female:

Ash would look like a boy, but get uptight would people say anything in male terms about her. No funny gender reveal. Despite her looking and acting like a boy, she’d keep it clear she’s a girl. She would be more likely to pick heterosexuality, to overdo keeping in mind she’s a girl despite her real sexuality, if not hetero.

Gender complex, in reference to male:

She would refer to herself in male terms, and so would others. The gender reveal would be a serious character development stepping stone, instead of funny. It could go as Ash hating being a girl, and be an issue to over come to accept being a girl. It could be Ash was posing as a boy for a reason, but being ok with being a girl. After the gender reveal her outfit would most likely change to a more fem version of what she’s already wearing. The attitude would still be very much the same, except she would just refer to herself as female from there on out.

Ash(ley) the fem girl.

I highly doubt Ashley would anything like “Ashley,” the first Ash cross dress. To go into my full idea of a feminine version of Ash’s outfit is, based on how Pokemon does things: A longer jacket, short shorts, choker, knee or thing socks (given socks are worn), and a tank top. All in a lighter color scheme. But that’s my idea of Ashley being maintained in the original male Ash look. The real Pokemon Ashley might look COMPLETELY different from the male counter-part.


Goes for both: I’m thinking Brock being the way he is might be inappropriate, but that would be given if he found Ash attractive.


Those are all my theories. Now here are some facts:

In Ash’s anatomy, the story starts with Ash at 8, I believe. At 8 years old, back in the 90s, girls didn’t have boobs. Ash won’t look any more boy-ish or girl-ish in a plain shirt and shorts. All children can start traveling alone at a young age. I don’t remember any rules about boys and girls starting at separate ages. Ash would start her journey asap, like the original. The crossing dressing “Ashley” wouldn’t have happened, but that doesn’t mean cross dressing wouldn’t happen at Ash at all. Instead of putting on a dress for Misty, she would have put on a different male outfit for Brock. Changed Ashley to Ashton, Ashton to something else, or be only known as Ash until Ashton would have been needed. Overall, not that much would be different. Just whatever you need for gender reveal, tom boy accommodations, or make the character fem.