I'm going on REVAMP.

All I can tell you now it the last few years of my character making life have been a lie ,but that's part of the reason i'm so insecure about my art.

I just put some serious thought into it about an hour ago. I've been tiring to be more like someone else because they get noticed for their characters ,and i don't. I thought tiring to be like them would make it better ,but it didn't. It didn't make it worse on that hand ,but i upset a friend in the process. Now i know it's been so long i didn't even know what i was doing wrong until JUST now. I was into the idea of revamp my old characters ,but it's my newer ones that need the help. My old ones need to be more "stabilized" settings. Anything i've made within the past 1 - 3 years needs to be looked over for a COMPLETE revamp. I took some simple words to bring all this on. I posted in SA and MB forums asking people what do people want to see these days. SA not really the help i was looking for. MB - VERY helpful, without the smart-assery which was VERY nice. It was basically a "Be yourself" thing ,and that's what made me see that i wasn't myself.

I've been having more of an artistic identity crisis. I know my art doesn't suck ,but i shove it down my own throat that it does. When someone tells me i suck i just say "That was long espt before you got here" , "Well, d'uh" or something snappy but still in agreement. I'm not one to feed the trolls or entertain rude people (here i just delete the comments) ,but it's hard to make scene of how i can take that well ,but get upset when a friend gives me constructive crits. I don't outwardly say anything against it, but it's like a stabbing on the inside. It's like a can take it - I say "Thanks" for it and if i really think it's good advice i'll see about working it into my style- ,but it still stings even tho i know it's only to help and not to hurt. I'm not saying it makes me want to cry ,or anything. It's like a "I know what's wrong with me. You don't have to rub it in." feeling ,but i'll still go with it. I guess how you outwardly react it what matters. The only think I don't accept is when someone with a style i don't like tries to tell me about mine. I can give i polite "Thanks, but i'd rather not take advice from you" but to some that's hard to sallow. It can be seen as rude ,so i only say that when i think the person's being rude to me.

I still have alot of stuff to scan ,edit ,and upload ,and i will as i go along with this ,but i'll be busier ,and tiring to focus which means hanging out less. I'm gonna make revamping a higher priority ,and not try to go in any order like i usually do - which ends up failing.

*kisses and hugs*