I'm an American of African Descent, and I don't hate pink skinned people

HEAVY TYPOS WARNING! Grammar Nazis beware!

I know about slavery.

I know about Jim Crow.

I know about Rondey King.

I know some of how the USA was made. A lot of stealing.

I know about a lot of stuff, and I don’t know everything. I can gladly say I don’t want to know everything.

I doubt I’m “all African”, like a lot of jerk want to parade around as. Being an American of long descent I have no hopes of being “pure” anything. I’m just more of African descent to make me brown (among other features). I love “white” people, like I normally love anyone, unless they give me an indivisibly reason to hate them.

I don’t care to much for “black” people, not only because most of the one’s around here are shitty (in my opinion), but because I have bad experiences with them. With what happened to me in middle school, I got bullied by the “black” kids, and the “white” kids were cool with me. Some of my friends were molested and raped, and the people that did it were “white” (that I know of). My church is full of “white” people, and they’re all nice to me, and they like me. I was raised in a southern baptist church of “black” people, and I didn’t feel as personally liked or welcome. It was a boring chore to go to that church, but I had to because I was a child going with my godparent. I stopped going when I turned 10 or 11. I don’t agree with Christianity under those terms, a long with the way they taught it. Maybe before that, but I don’t remember. I was sexually assaulted by a white person when is was 19 or 20. A “white” and brown (not of African descent) lesbian couple were very nice to me. My first boss I didn’t like was “black”. My “black” boss wasn’t a nice person, and insulted me various times. The other “black” boss, on the shift before mine was what we call a “booty hunter”. They both fit in their ethical gender assigned stereotypes, even. My first boss I like, and got along with was “white”. With my “white” boss, I was sort of in a new family with where I worked, and I loved going, because I felt at home. Being a different people we didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but we never insulted each other (that I know of, in our faces), and we rarely didn’t got a long. I’ve been called “nigger” by white people. I laughed and walked away. I’m so use to hearing from “black” people it doesn’t bother me. I don’t hang around any people that use any slurs society has deemed hateful, however. It’s just distrustful. I know some stupid “white” people, and I’ve come across some stupid “black” people. There’s some writing around downtown saying “Fuck niggers”, and “KKK”, and stuff like that. I don’t know for a fact “white” people wrote, but who ever did made the “Hate “black” people” message clear. Also, giving we don’t know who wrote it, it could have been anyone of any skin color just trying to stur animosity and tension.

I’ve seen and heard more “black” people blame “white” people for their problems, than the other way around. I’ve seen “black” people be racist to “white” people, and it’s like it’s common placed. I’ve called some out on it, and it’s was treated like a dismissed, and foreign idea. I was even told ” “black” people can’t be racist against “white” people, because “blacks” were the victims of slavery”. In that same logical, shouldn’t “black” people be on the war path to kill all “white” people, because they’re the descendants of slave masters? Despite that fact that they could also be the descendants of slaves. Slaves were raped, and I doubt they used whatever “birth control” was back then.

In my world made for things that I’ve been through I can say “People are just as nice, and fucked up as they want to be. Ethical and racist things, don’t matter” and mean it. I’ve come across enough “white” and “black” people to reassure me no one is more disproportionaly fucked up than the other. It’s about how people want to be.

I know I left “yellow” and “red” people out. This area is dramatically ”white” and “black”, even to this day. Slightly more “black”, for the record.

It frustrates me that “black” people huff around like they’re the only one’s that got ripped off by “white” people, in the past. I know that poor “white” people were also slaves. It’s to my understanding that Irish people (the REAL “white” people) were also slaves at some point. Chinese people were also enslaved (as I’ve seen depicted during the “gold rush” era). I don’t doubt the “Indians” were slaves, aside from getting run off their own land. The Hawaiians were probably enslaved after their land was taken from their ownership. I assume the “Indian” and Hawaiian part this because slavery is so popular. I think people being raped of their land is something like slavery, anyway.

Yet I still don’t hate white people. I must be retarded. Or… Maybe I know there are African slavers, to this day. Slaves built the pyramids. There are people in enslaving mainly children in Africa, right now. Slavery is as old as whoring, and whoring is very old! I don’t think it makes scenes to hate “white” people for doing Africans do. It’s not even hate being put on the people that did it. It’s grudge being held between people’s descendants, even thought they aren’t the one’s that committed the crimes against you, and you’re not suffering (to generalize).

I’m actually quite thankful. I’m not the one that had to suffer slavery and Jim Crow, and I get to sit in air conditioning, with indoor pluming, and electricity to power this computer I’m typing this on. I’m also very thankful for the people before that fought for all the rights I have to enjoy today. It wouldn’t stop anything bad from happening, but it gives a chance for legal justice to be served. I wouldn’t want to be in Africa now, or ever! Based on all the horrible things I hear about them there’s no reason for me to want to be there!

Also, we’re not taking the needed steps to discouraging hatefulness. Why aren’t groups like the KKK illegal in this country? Why are organized group that promote hate protected under our laws? How far will we pull “freedom of speech and enterprise” to cover companies the that promote and give to companies that block all Americans from having the same equal rights? Why aren’t these things illegal, and failing? Why isn’t it illegal to say hateful slurs against people. Will we let “freedom” cost us an advancement in our overall society? If this things become illegal we’ll have to worry even less about them. People doing bad things would actually go to jail! These “bad things” would qualify as “hindering our society’s advancement in factual knowledge, happiness, peace, and being anti-discriminant.”

I said all this based what on what I’ve been in, and observed from others. I know there are a lot of people that have suffered discrimination in this country, in this modern day and age. I don’t begrudge them for any feeling they’ve developed in their own encounters, or how they’ve viewed things that have happened to people close to them. This is about those “black” people that haven’t been through anything major, and can’t let shit (that didn’t even happen to them) go. What really pisses me off is how some of them act like they’re the only one’s that deserve to be angry, even though the group is far from the first or the last to be brutalized by the Europeans and “white” Americans. More correctly, it’s stupid to think any group has any sky rained right to be the only one’s mad at a group that wronged a lot of people, unless there were/ are specif terms.

Some of this is fact, but smart people can tell which parts are my options. Some of this is also assumptions. Take it or leave it.

Skin colors

It's ok to call brown people of Africa descent "black", and pick people "white", but if you call a pink/ yellow-ish person "yellow" it's racist? I don't see how. In some cases calling a brown-ish/ red person "red" is thought of as racist, but I still don't see why or how. Why isn't it bad to call people colors they aren't. They aren't "black", or "white". People are strange.

MS car and parenting

"Don't look!"
Continues to record waiting for the crash.
"Stay in the car!"
Runs out the car to check on the people.

Confused kids make confused adults.

I was bullied in school

The events I’m explaining happened in 2004 - 2006, in Shreveport, LA - Caddo Parish.

In middle school I was seen by someone sitting outside of McD’s with my mate, at the time. The next day, the person (who I thought of as a friend) asked me who I was with and I answered “My mate.” After that, I though nothing of it, but little did I know it was being spread after school after that. When I got to gym, may last hour, I was comforted by all of the others and asked “Are you gay?” I thought about it, and just said “Yes.” I didn’t feel gay, but I didn’t know what “bisexual” was at the time.

After that, I was shunned! While I had my mate with me, I took it better. It was still hurtful, but I oped it as “I’d rather fun ignorant people off, than have them like me”. That didn’t cover the people that were willing to psychically bully me, though. I didn’t have the most harsh psychical experiences, but my mentality, and emotions were broken enough.

I still had a few friends that didn’t care about that! I also had anime, and because of anime, I had those friends! I was too afraid to skip school, but I was always hours late and I stayed to myself outside of my friend group.

It’s time for me to come clean about something, though. The reason why I didn’t speak out as hard as I should have is because my grades were poor, my reports were fucked up, and I was 3 grades behind. At the time, it mattered because I’ve seen Caddo pull some low shit. I was afraid they would turn the argument of my bullying situation into my records. The “What’s the point of protecting you? You’re not doing anything, anyway,” but in much better, pro wording - like I’ve seen before.

The few times I ccould manage asking for help I was just being shrugged off. People weren’t taking my issues seriously, so I didn’t bother speaking on all of them in detail - in the out patience counseling. I did go into detail while I was in Brentwood, and that was pointless. They had no specif design for LGBTQ counseling, and basically told me “as long as I’m not hurting anyone I’m fine. So, get over it.” It actually hurt me more. They also gave me no advice on how to handle bullies other than “walk away”. I walked away, alright. I DROPPED OUT. I was happy to drop out, but I wasn’t really away from the bullies. After I dropped out, I was so depressed. My life was meaningless, and I was nothing. It took me YEARS to get myself back together. Even when I thought I was over it, I wasn’t. I’m still somewhat not over it, because I never got the proper counseling. I don’t feel bad for dropping out of school for my situation, but it would have been nice to have other opinions.

The Trevor Project was out a few years before all this hit, but I had NO idea it existed. The LGBTQ world was all underground, to me. At the time, I was just using anime and manga to help myself feel better. I’m not saying it didn’t work, but the right people to talk to would have actually helped me with my issues. Anime and manga could just cheer me up, and entertained me, instead of being the total vice it was. It made some fun friends for me, so I wouldn’t take it back. There’s was no talk of queerness around me, other than a few of my mother’s gay friends. I didn’t know it was a whole word with support groups, and activities, and OTHER PEOPLE!

There weren’t a lot of things and people in my life to teach me to “be myself”. Most of the people around me were fine with the dull conformity, but I never was and never will be! I wasn’t born to be that way! The morale lessons at the end of Sailor Moon, Moltar and T.O.M. 1 on Toonami, and some anime/ manga protagonist were all I had on “being myself”, and “being proud of myself”.

But, now I know of all this COMMUNITY! It makes me very sad that sometimes we fight among ourselves! You never know where you might end up. Sometimes, we’re all we have. Here in 2012, I am got to look into proper counseling. There’s more for teens and kids, than young adults, adults, and elderly. Hopefully, there’s change in the words for that.

Thanks for reading!

Voice acting?

I'm think about voice acting again, years later. After listening to working voice actors talk about voice acting, I was scared away from the idea. I know it doesn't pay, but now that I have my career in mind, I can voice act for free, or some pennies. I'm going to put out a demo reel soon, and see what happens.

Before I go too long without making an update

Not much has changed for me. My summer break is almost over! I can go back to class! Mother and I are getting more on each other's nerves, so I'm going to skip out soon. I might have to go homeless. Been arting alot, and it's mostly Skullgirls. Been raining a lot here, much to my joy! After what happened last summer, we deserve all this rain! People here are still stupid, but things are  looking up, in some cases.