Goodbye, old fri--fucker.

I've dropped a long time "associate" whom I use to call my friend, even though we never really were friends. I made a comment on how they used logic to be callous (or more so, boring) and that one sentence got a 10 page essay in reply, one sentence calling ,e "pretentious". Or course I didn't read all those messages, nor did I argue with them on the matter. The way I see it if someone can give me a paraphargh on what's been wrong with me through out the time we've known each other from one sentence of of a recent observation that means 1. They're still holding the past against me and 2. We're not friends, because anyone who is really my friends knows that they can just tell me when they disagree with my behavior. It's not like I can deny the label. I'm jerk of all trades, and I know it - not even gonna lie. And, I'm also SUPER tacky, in means of fashion. Mixing dark and light clothes, mixed socks, all the good stuff! Back to the point, with as expressive as I am and as "business originated" (boring) as they are  it was clear that "friends" was far from the title we should have ever used. It's sad to lose one known for so long, but all false relationships are to be dropped. No matter how old one is they are always too old for that. There's also the "You know what? You're right. But, still - forget you for calling me that." So "Out of my life, now. Bye." took place with no explanation to them, but I know why I did it, and that's what matters.

FAREWELL, LADIES!

I made some friends at my church about a month or so ago. They've left from Cali by the time this makes the internet. These 2 lovely lady lovers have done more for me in a few days than alot of people I've lived with my whole life. They've given me rides, food, awesome times, and job opps! This is the first time since 7th grade I'm enjoing being around people in my age group. I usually avoid them, because most of the people here are stupid. The ones that aren't stupid leave. I hate they way this place, so I'm outty-5000 by the time I'm 25. I've wasted enough of my youth here, already, but moving costs money. All staying here does is make me depressed, angry, and somewhat bitter knowing other places are better. I could have decently enjoiable life somewhere, but I'm stuck in this blackhole. I understand how blacane works: For others to be high others have to be low. Its just why us? Why me, and why this?




I met them at church, and we just started talking casualy. I was wearing black pants with an old iron-on of Malik from YGO, and one them pointed it out, and it went from there. They became my ride to church (other than mother), first. Then, they took me to the yaoi meets they hosted, and got me food and stuff. Yesterday, I skipped church to hang out with them because that's their last full day here. We went to IHOP for breakfast, the pool party after church, and shopping and getting stuff done for their cat. It was an awesomely random day for me, but very planned for them.



One lady is from Cali, and the other is from here. She's 28, and she's leaving behind her life to do more for herself. We have a very kindered mind set about how fucked up things are here. All anyone can think to do is leave, so that's what we do. No, it doesn't help things get better, in an overall sence, BUT EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! We don't protest here, because it really doesn't do any good. The time and energy wasted on tring to fight these goverment theives can be spent packing up and moving some where that will do the OPPISITE of wasting your time. That's how i feel about it, and based on what I'm seeing around me, i'm correct. Every place has it's problems, but it's what effects you and what you're willing to put up with.



The one from Cali is very disappointed with this place, needless to say. She looks like more, and she acts like more than this. Not saying she's snobby or anything. It's just you can tell she's not from here by talking to her, in a refreshing way. She's offered me a place to stay when i come to visit, and if i decide to move there. She knows alot of people so spreading word a new person's coming in and needs help setting up won't be hard. If anything, they have alot of programs to help homeless people.



We'll keep in touch. Til then, FAREWELL!