I sent on email to me friend explaining how i felt about what happened and our overall relationship this morning. They replied ,and they told me where they were coming from about it. Long story short ,I may have started it. I don't remember the details but I don't doubt it if i did. I was wrong AS USUAL.
I think there may be a misunderstanding in the email ,like they think everything I said was related to THAT moment. I was really fucked up about it for alot of hidden reasons ,but i'm not gonna push it. I just won't fool with them anymore to avoid future drama, and they'll stop coming over and that will ULTIMATELY solving the problem. not saying that's all they come for ,and that's all I do ,but things will get boring. They can be bored at their own place ,or out with better friends.
Now that that's settled I still have to deal with mom. For now I'm not talking to her, but that's no real punishment. It's probably good to not hear me nag about how she needs to workout and eat right so she won't be 300 lbs. She go ahead and turn into the GoodYear blimp ,and I won't say a word.
I'm still depressed. I have no reason to live. That can depress anyone. Oh, the emo-angstyness! I'm not just saying it. I get depressed and I just stuff. I have nothing to do ,nowhere to go ,and no one important. It just is what it is ,and it's nothing. No reason.
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