Sunday, November 21, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Christians love God more than other people.
I went into a christian chat room about my problem. i wasn't expecting to get help, but why not kill some time? When I got there one of the "heads" of the chat was telling someone to read the bible and trust god instead of going to the hospital about her dizziness and not sleeping for 3 days. She said her taste goes away when she takes her meds. The obvious suggestion would be to talk her doctor about it, but no. Come into a christian chat room. You clearly don't want help with your medical problem if that's your lead to the solution on your medical issue.
Anyway,
I told them about my problem, and they suggested I go to God. I was refereed to Jame 4 1 thru 15. I schemed it, and from what I saw it was some people people talking about cheating or something. It was ABOUT jealousy, but it didn't help. Ok, so some people a long time ago, in Africa were jealous and someone said something about God. What the fuck does that have to do with me?
Of cor' my trauma came up, about how I was scarred by "Christians" in the past. Still didn't help me with the issue I'm having now.
I understand they were helping in the way they knew how. It just felt really brain washed to me. It's clear I'm psychologically traumatized, and I will be for the rest of my life. Can i get help for my current problem NOW, tho.
I'll admit something: I want in there KNOWING they weren't going to help. I figured I'd reinforce why I don't like nor trust Christians. I didn't troll the chat, mind you. I asked for their advice, as people, and they went into how I was mentally scarred, how I should trust God and how he loves me. How can I trust God if I can't trust his people? Who follows is a representation of who you are.
Anyway,
I told them about my problem, and they suggested I go to God. I was refereed to Jame 4 1 thru 15. I schemed it, and from what I saw it was some people people talking about cheating or something. It was ABOUT jealousy, but it didn't help. Ok, so some people a long time ago, in Africa were jealous and someone said something about God. What the fuck does that have to do with me?
Of cor' my trauma came up, about how I was scarred by "Christians" in the past. Still didn't help me with the issue I'm having now.
I understand they were helping in the way they knew how. It just felt really brain washed to me. It's clear I'm psychologically traumatized, and I will be for the rest of my life. Can i get help for my current problem NOW, tho.
I'll admit something: I want in there KNOWING they weren't going to help. I figured I'd reinforce why I don't like nor trust Christians. I didn't troll the chat, mind you. I asked for their advice, as people, and they went into how I was mentally scarred, how I should trust God and how he loves me. How can I trust God if I can't trust his people? Who follows is a representation of who you are.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
I have to face my jealousy
I'm jealous of people in couples. I've been single for about 6 - 8 years now, but I've just started be become lonely about 2 years ago. I get nervous and upset when someone bring their gf or bf around me, and i feel dejected when I know a person's someone or likes someone.
I don't get jealous of the people, themselves, mind you. I'm not upset "Mick" is with "Kyle" because of who they are, or anything like that.
I was ride along the first years really good on "I just don't to deal with other peoples drama", because it was true. After my 2 break ups I was set for single, and I knew it would be a long time before I wanted to get back in that whirlwind.
Unfortunately, I had no plans on how to handle it when those feelings would come back after, like they have now. I think past "other people's drama" now, even tho I still have my own. Somehow I feel like I've become more affectionate, and I have no one to be affectionate with. I know my feelings are heading toward "envy", as well. I act outwardly, sometimes, and I become aggressive and rude.
I just want to get over this. I don't like being rude, and unhappy. I don't want to make make people hurt just because I'm hurt. I understand how stupid this is, but I know I can't help, because I could i wouldn't be having this problem.
I don't get jealous of the people, themselves, mind you. I'm not upset "Mick" is with "Kyle" because of who they are, or anything like that.
I was ride along the first years really good on "I just don't to deal with other peoples drama", because it was true. After my 2 break ups I was set for single, and I knew it would be a long time before I wanted to get back in that whirlwind.
Unfortunately, I had no plans on how to handle it when those feelings would come back after, like they have now. I think past "other people's drama" now, even tho I still have my own. Somehow I feel like I've become more affectionate, and I have no one to be affectionate with. I know my feelings are heading toward "envy", as well. I act outwardly, sometimes, and I become aggressive and rude.
I just want to get over this. I don't like being rude, and unhappy. I don't want to make make people hurt just because I'm hurt. I understand how stupid this is, but I know I can't help, because I could i wouldn't be having this problem.
Friday, November 5, 2010
I'm gonna have 2 phones for alil bit
This and this
Both because of this and this
The Kyo Jax because the Kyo Loft. I don't have any remembered experience with Kyocera, so I'm going to see if I like the phone, itself.
I'm getting the LG 101 because it has Opera mini, as does both the Loft and Rumor Touch. I'm going to see if I can handle the browser.
Just the phones, in general, to switch from Straight Talk to Virgin Mobile. I'm sick of this damn Samsung, and I'm gonna smash it with a hammer, given i'm satisfied with Virgin's service.
Straight Talk is a huge inconvenience! It's only available at Wal Mart, and i don't live in walking distance nor do I have a regularly taken bus route to any Wal Marts. I've learned my lesson about getting a service that sales out of exclusive locations. The Samsung really wasn't worth the trouble, but I did what was best at the time. Now Virgin's stepped up, and I'm on broad with them!
If I decide against beating the hell out of the Samsung and riding the world of one less lame-ass device, I'll donate it, or maybe see what happens if I send it back to ST with it's warranty still going. I don't still have the ticket so it's looking about a good 90% chance of being brutally tortured.
When I'm done with the other phones I'll give them away. No fault or foul if I don't like Virgin's service, because I get the cheapest phones on the cheapest plan, to start off with. ST isn't expensive, but I don't make the money to be able to carry $45/ month on my own.
A service problem i have with ST is my network connection frequently getting lost. I don't have any set expectations with VM on this. I can only hope I'm going to better.
Both because of this and this
The Kyo Jax because the Kyo Loft. I don't have any remembered experience with Kyocera, so I'm going to see if I like the phone, itself.
I'm getting the LG 101 because it has Opera mini, as does both the Loft and Rumor Touch. I'm going to see if I can handle the browser.
Just the phones, in general, to switch from Straight Talk to Virgin Mobile. I'm sick of this damn Samsung, and I'm gonna smash it with a hammer, given i'm satisfied with Virgin's service.
Straight Talk is a huge inconvenience! It's only available at Wal Mart, and i don't live in walking distance nor do I have a regularly taken bus route to any Wal Marts. I've learned my lesson about getting a service that sales out of exclusive locations. The Samsung really wasn't worth the trouble, but I did what was best at the time. Now Virgin's stepped up, and I'm on broad with them!
If I decide against beating the hell out of the Samsung and riding the world of one less lame-ass device, I'll donate it, or maybe see what happens if I send it back to ST with it's warranty still going. I don't still have the ticket so it's looking about a good 90% chance of being brutally tortured.
When I'm done with the other phones I'll give them away. No fault or foul if I don't like Virgin's service, because I get the cheapest phones on the cheapest plan, to start off with. ST isn't expensive, but I don't make the money to be able to carry $45/ month on my own.
A service problem i have with ST is my network connection frequently getting lost. I don't have any set expectations with VM on this. I can only hope I'm going to better.
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