Art about Dad and Me!?

I've come to the point where I want to get the hatred of my father off my chest, out of my mind, and expelled from my soul. The reasons why I hate him are as follows: He threatened to beat me for being bisexual. The abuses his current wife, and other kids (verbally, and mental. I don't know about bodily). He abandoned me (technically, I see it that way). He (tired his best) to ban me from drawing, and watching anime (which I did, and watched anyway).He will openly manipulate and humiliate with more wickedness, and call himself a "pastor" because he's suppose to be some sort of "pastor" in the military. Gaining power is important to him so he'll have more to control others with. He's a lair, a user, and an abuser. All good reasons to hate him, but I'm just tired of it. I'm feed up with putting my spiritual energy into hating someone that will not feel the effects of my hate. I want to exact revenge, but I know I won't be able to. It only frustrates me that I can't cause him any pain, for all the anger and hate he put into me. It can just come up in my mind, and I will suddenly be outraged and rate to myself, about any future scenario we could meet up in where I take the chance to humiliate and hurt him. I'll even dream about it, which can have mixed results. Where as I want to hurt him in face to face interaction, I know it would be better for me if I never saw him (alive) again.

I can't afford a professional to talk to so I got the idea maybe expressing these feeling through art will help move them out of my body. I'm thinking of it as "the energy I release into this work will move the energy out of me". The basic think to do would be to make art pieces, but I'm considering a comic. I'm feeling like a fantasy comic, based off real events (not only of him, but it might help with my bullying, too) but fantasy will make it more interesting for others to view. There are several ways to interpret these feelings. I wonder what I'll do.

Youjo art of 2011!

AlertPay is the DEVIL!

C/P from my FA entry. This is my take on furaffinity's art bans because of AP.

http://www.sofurry.com/page/201550

And now for my 2 cents.

AlertPay has stripped off the freedoms that we loved to have about this site, and it will do it to others if no action is taken.

I feel like we've all been thrown under the bus. I don't think the mods of this site explained the situation clearly enough. Mostly because with explanation they'd have to admit that they're allowing people to demonize artists for what they do with their own expression for cooperate gain. I've been here long enough to FA pull along thing site on donations and ads from users for long periods of time.

I can't hate too hard. You do what you have to do to keep the site going AND make profit off it. Now let's see how far FA's willing to go before it breaks. I'm seeing this to turn into another "SheezyArt" dilemma.

For those of you that don't get that ref, back in the day Sheezyart allowed porn, and was a very popular adult art site, at that. 2 years after it started they banned and removed all adult art. They started advertising with Google, and Google has VERY strict porn policies. I'm expecting a good crash and burn from FA, however. I don't see them getting through this, because of the mod's openly cowardice behavior. I see them putting up with it for a few more months (maybe giving them too much credit on that), than FA disappears altogether. No more site, no more lj, twitter. Nothing.

I'm not usually this harsh without being ready to eat my words, but I think I safe on most of this. Even if they don't close the site the easiest thing to do would be the make the site clear art only. That would kill the arguing, for sure. Go ahead and tell people they aren't welcome anymore and the offended parties just leave. Not without the mandatory journal entry criticizing the mod's new turn for the site, but still the result comes of it.

I had to make a new one!

I've been putting it off, forgetting about it, and not really caring about it UNTIL TODAY!

My Boss' friend was at the cafe, and i asked her to send me a video from there.

When she added me as her friend she watched my slide show... I was embarrassed, and I have no idea way.

She asked me a psychological question, and I answered, but the art was from last year. I don't think how I felt then is alot of how I feel now.

She said something about the way I did hands (in the event that i did them). I didn't think that deeply into it, but when she asked me the question I didn't stop to think about it before asking, like i should've. Alot of you don't know me from back in the day, but I just recently started drawing hands. I use to have alot of trouble with them, and I was very lazy about it. I thought the pic would be ok without them, and they did, to me. Now I draw them, and I'm fine with them.

This is the one she was.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxwj-YGB8ME

I made a new one, so if it ever comes up again hopefully, they'll be some changes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7QqVWvjXB0

I'm glad this happened, tho. I thought I wanted to go get counseling, but it turns out I'm too scared to. I don't want to share my issues, like i use to. I use to actually want help, but now I'm scared of having to go back to the mental hospital. To someone like me, that place is as close to jail as i'll ever went to get.

The lady is nice to have around. She didn't mean any harm. I have my own issues. She just happened to one of those people that can "read" art, because she's an artist and musician, herself.

I'll get over some of my humps one day... Or they'll drive me mad.

About Art Thieves.

Firstly, I have to start with the victums. I know it's a really hard feeling to take, as i was once a victum. However, whenever I see someone go off in a big tangite about how the "hate people", and they're going to or they want to "delete everything in their gallery" I can help but want to slap them. My first inconuter with an art thief was IN REAL LIFE, and it was one of my friends. She not only traced my stuff, but she edited things I gave her, and said she did the whole thing all together. I was very upset with her, and didn't talk to her for weeks afterward. Things didn't turn violante, and I'm still friends with her today (that was YEARS ago). I never cursed humanity for it, nor did i threaten to throw away all my stuff, or quit drawing.



When someone steals your stuff over the internet it shouldn't be THAT much of a surprise. It's the interenet, with the open freelancing of EVERYONE in the world having access to what you post. You have every right to be upset, but being immature enough to throw insults at the general public is a big shame on you. By deleting your stuff you're punishing the honest people that enjoy your stuff and WON'T steal from you. By quitting your craft you're only hurting yourself. That's one less reason to your life. It's just some idiot on the interenet, so stop acting like your life is over. What's really annoying are the people that reload everything very small, and too heavily watermarked to see. There's no point in posting something people will hardly be able to see. No matter how you look at it, blowing it out of proportion makes YOU look bad. If you're faith in security is so head-strong why trust the internet, in the first place?



Let me tell you something about art thieves, having been face-to-face with one: Pity them. Think about why people steal, in the first place. They're are very reasons, but when you're the victum you don't think about the desperation behind the act. It's something they could be doing just because they can, but maybe it's someone with very low self-esteem, and just wants to feel good at something. The best thing you can do is warn others. If they stole from you they'll most likely steal from others, so inform the masses to be on the look out.

Ok, i'll take the FUCKING art classes

I can't stand it anymore.

I want to be a good artist....

Really, there's not such thing as "a good artist" ,in another person's opinion.

The difference in a "good" and "bad" artist if how they feel about their own work.

I would like to like my own stuff more often.

I get so discouraged because i think my own stuff is crap ,most of the time.

Of course i can't afford "classes" so I'll be photo-reffing, tracing (may as well say it) ,looking at tuts ,and getting how to draw books. Same thing ,really.

Some say photo reffing is fine. I thought tracing all together was "bad" ,but i have yet to see someone get banned for "photo reffing" - even when opening admitting to it.

I would like to do all this offline ,but i'm backed up too far on art stuff already. To make things worse I KEEP DRAWING WHICH ADDS MORE TO THE MESS! I still might go offline ,tho.

*shrugs and sighs*

CONBADGES coming soon!

I'm come up with a new thing i wanna do... CONBADGES!

I won't start NOW ,but they'll be coming up soon and they will be FREE FOR FRIENDS! Or we can trade if you want ,but i'll be more on the picky side. I'm gonna wear them in public ,after all!

People that aren't my more personal online buddies will have to pay (when i get paypal) ,but don't worry. They'll be cheap! I really don't believe in charge ridiculous prices for something I love to do!

I can see WHY some people do it ,tho. They're so good they have to have high prices so not to get flooded by people.

However, we all know kills are worth ... MAYBE $5... maybe. I might charge 10 ,tho ,just for the hell of it. Still cheap, right? I need to buy stuff to do it with. *shrug*

If someone wants to guide me on the right way to do commissions ,please do. I don't want to get ripped off ,or anyone to think i'm ripping them off.

ANYWAY,

I was thinking about starting this weekend ,but i'm not sure. It will be a weekend soon ,tho.

I luv u GAIS!

Oh gosh! A NOT sad journal!

I went to class today! I got alil math done, and i fell good about that. I tried to give it to her ,but she'd rather check it while I'm there. I was tiring to give it to her after class to NOT have to go through that, but oh well.

I never seem to have much bad to say when i go downtown. This place sucks ,for the most part ,but not everything. This time of year some lil restaurants let guitarists place outside their places. I never go down without money ,cuz i feel bad if i don't give anything. I like that kind of stuff ,becuz it shows who we really are. Not just just a bunch of loud mouth ,rude ,ghetto, white trash ,and red necks. We're people with talent and skills. We're very extremely miss guided by a thieving ,corrupt government.

Not everyone can leave ,so those of us that remain have to make due. Right now ,i'm happy with the way things are. Change always hits me hard ,no matter how fast or slow it comes. It's scary ,but if it nots to be done just do it.

I think it's time for market ,so i'm gonna try to catch it, while listening to the guitarists! We have a old style market place downtown. People get there spring harvest and selling it. Yeah... OLDE SKOOL!

Now... i take shower ,change my bed sheets.. and maybe DDR if not a nap.

I don't like Prismacolor very much

My sister gave me the $150 pack. Tin casing, 48 colors, collect art cover. They look very nice ,but i don't like the way they color ,and the scanner much the colors look weird. I'm not saying it's a bad product. I'm saying it's not for me.

The reason I'm posting this ,is because disillusion going on in some artists that expensive produces makes art better. I'm here to to you that THAT cake is a lie.

First of all, it's you SKILL that's makes your work what it is. It's how much time you put into your craft ,and your dedication to it.

Secondly, not everything is for everyone. Personaly, i prefer SAI ,and openCanvas WAY over Photoshop. ArtWeaver is also a good product. I use to have PhotoPlus ,but some of the features stopped working ,for whatever reason. Honestly, i don't think PhotoShop is worth them money they make you pay for it. About $10 or $20 cheaper ,would be best. I had a hard time with GIMP, and it just didn't work for me. It also taking up too much space on computers.

A brand I have taken a liking to is Staedtler Luna. A friend from Malaysia sent them to me, and I'll be hunting them down to see if they're here ,later.

I have yet to try Copie markers ,and Prismacolor markers or any other Prismacolor produces ,and I doubt I will. 1. I was never too happy about about coloring with markers ,even as a kid. 2. I'm a heavy judge. If one of your produces don't work for me ,I doubt your other ones will.

I'll try them for free ,like how I got these pencils.